3rd Trimester

A week from today is baby's due date and let me tell ya, it is feeling real. Baby has dropped, so it could be any time now that we get to meet the newest member of our family. To recap the third trimester, it has been one I will never forget and one that I could never have imagined.  I realize now how easily gratitude and grief can go hand in hand. I have had to grieve the things that quickly became out of my control. Carrying a baby during a worldwide pandemic is definitely not something I would have chosen. Going to the doctor by myself has been emotional. Thinking ahead and making decisions on who will get to meet the baby and how all those details will work out has been heartbreaking. Planning a baptism when churches are all online is not what I planned. Cancelling my baby shower was disappointing. Missing out on time with friends and family for the majority of the third trimester as the bump gets bigger and the baby gets more active has been hard. Feeling paranoid about getting sick and doing everything I can to stay quarantined for the health of our baby has been exhausting.

As I feel true grief over all these things, there has been so much gratitude. God is so good. He has continued to provide for Dan and I. He has kept our baby safe and healthy and we are so thankful for that! Dan has been home for weeks now, due to grad school going online, and we have spent so much cherished time together. We finished the nursery (for now) and have knocked lots of projects off the list. Dan has read almost every children's book we have received to my tummy. Dan has also painted my toes since it's getting difficult to reach! Life has slowed down and we have found ourselves taking walks and sitting on our porch all the time. Social distancing called for Dan Stephens as the photographer for our maternity pictures and we had so much fun with that! Our growing family has been surrounded with an unbelievable amount of support, prayers and love. I can't begin to count the surprise porch drop-offs we have found waiting for us, the hand-me-down baby things that have been given to us, and the texts and calls asking if there is anything we need. It's a weird time for sure, but we have never felt so loved. 

Dan's encouragement and 'Best Dad Award' mentality has only increased as the pregnancy has progressed.  I am grateful that we get to go through this uncertain time together. Dan continues to amaze me as he supports and loves on me every day. When I feel worry and fear about the virus and everything that could go wrong, Dan is the first to remind me that the Lord has a plan. Dan prays over me and the baby daily. Dan reminds me that God is always in control and our trust needs to be in Him. I have been encouraged during this pandemic by the words "Be still and know". These words have brought peace to my anxious heart. I have these words hanging on my living room wall and in the nursery. God has my family in the palm of His hand and I find so much peace knowing that is true. 

           

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."